It’s wrong to wish head trauma on other human beings, except in this one instance. Look at his stupid smug face.

You could’ve just said “EVO buyers.”

Nuance is a dirty word in today’s political climate. Shit, it’s been a dirty word for over a decade.

Sexually propositioning a woman and her mom at a stoplight?

Mark Sanchez is probably a better get than Sam Bradford. Also this delusion I’ve been chugging for the last week as a Broncos fan is going to make me throw up.

“Dwight Howard, intrepid news reporter for the Daily Planet” would explain so much about the state of journalism today.

Ramona Shelburne needs to do a piece on the godforsaken horror show that is ESPN’s NBA broadcasting team. Jon Barry? Mark Jackson??? Chris motherfucking Broussard??????? Mark Jones, Hubie Brown & Doris Burke can stay. The rest: GONE.

When I was a punk kid, I threw a stink bomb at a life-guard’s booth at the Jersey Shore. The stink bomb was very light, and was caught up in the wind (read, I made a bad throw) and I beaned him in the back with it.

This story is too normal to be reported on by Deadspin. Are there pics of one of them hitting someone in the balls?

I want to star you so you are impervious to bananas.

This is the sort of Fox News I can get behind.

Same thing happen to me. Except it wasn’t on a golf course and it was a stripper who was a fox.

I guess that CarFax gig isn’t as comfortable as I thought.

Your proportions are all messed up.

I mean those burns were pretty wet.

I played beer pong with Justin Tuck in college at ND as he lived down the hall from us. He hit every cup he threw at, but he wouldn’t throw randomly - he would (1) ask who was drinking on the opposing team, (2) if you were thirsty (always) and (3) which cup you’d prefer to drink. He then hit that cup every damn time.…

+1 Rocketman

This picture should be placed on his mantle.

Probably a sedimental favorite.