Sounds like you want first class.

Disabled individuals in the back of the plane? Do you know how long it takes someone with limited mobility to get down the aisle? You want to slow down the process, do that. They should be at the front of the plane.

He’s described as GM the same way you might say “this dog happens to be driving a car."

*Sam Hinkie, breathless, races into the office.*

Celtics could pull it off. Trade the Rockets back the expiring contracts of David Lee ($15.4M) and somebody like Tyler Zeller ($2.6M) and/or Evan Turner ($3.4M)

Because they redistribute the hair (“wealth”) uniformly?

And let us marvel again at how precisely Andrew Sullivan, the man who spent thirty years slowly figuring out that modern American Republicans aren’t British Tories from his childhood, measured the pulse of our society.

Freddy, I always enjoy your articles. They let me dare to dream that one day I can have the car that I have always wanted. I live vicariously through you while I fix and flip auction specials to work my way to something better. Don’t let the haters get you down, because lots of us out here really enjoy what you have…

EVENTUALLY.

I assumed he was an Aaron Burr guy since he had the better shot.

If I understand correctly, you’re saying, “kids are no fun.”

Mistake number 1: take a cruise

Alright, let’s recap the last few days between the two of us:

Is..is...is that a tape deck I see in there?

Thanks for the input, Molière.

You know, just because the hack joke is there you don’t mean you have to make it.

Since I was a kid I’ve been able to equalize pressure in my ears by controlling...something...in my ears/throat. I don’t even really know what it is that I do. I only know that I can do it. I breathe out very gently through my nose and do a...thing...with muscles at the back of my mouth, and then I can hear my ears…

Chewing gum works pretty good. Only problem is getting it out of your ears afterwards.

Thanks for getting the “angry idiot doesn’t understand a joke” comment out of the way.

Johnson technically is not allowed to retire. He is locked into a two year contract on my fantasy football team and you better believe I will take him to court if he refuses to play.