Jack Chick lied; the spell to get your parents to buy more D&D is bullshit. I got a Player’s Handbook for X-Mas and was told thereafter that they aren’t spending $30 on a book anymore and that I needed to get a damn job to support my new interest.

Why do you hate America?

This is why soccer isn’t more popular in America- not enough surreptitious handjobs.

That kinda sums up my feelings on the scene. If they reversed the pan by starting at Theon then moving to Sansa to end the scene I think it’s less objectionable (but still dips in to the whole ‘rape as a plot device’ thing). As-is, I think the Ramsey scene was much better than Sansa’s near-rape during the riots with…

Hell, Obamacare quite possibly saved my life just a couple months ago. I had a nasty cough and felt pretty lousy for a couple weeks which pre-insurance I’d have just waited out. Thanks to Obama and the Congressional Dems, I was able to have a PCP visit where he realized that I had dangerously advanced pneumonia and…

JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BRAINS!!1!

Is it wrong that both of those scenarios have me physically aroused?

That’s dark.

Persistence is key! Tirico just needs to show how in love with football he is and the league will come to its senses and reciprocate.

A day or two ago, Deadspin had an old article up top about Steinbrenner and baseball that talked about their ‘best interests’ clause. It’s kind of an interesting comparison to see how the commissioners use (and abuse) it. It’s always an effective threat that hangs over the player’s head (in either sport) but as with…

+1

Hell, I’m saying all that as a Colts fan, for whatever that’s worth. The furthest it should’ve gone is the league telling the team to be careful from now on. Any investigation would’ve been ridiculous, much less the one that happened.

Jesus. That one still bothers me.

I briefly entertained that possibility some time ago. But, upon seeing Roger Goodell’s stern expression, I knew that he truly cared and that we should all submit ourselves to his firm and loving guidance.

God. If we’re going to have a fascist dictatorship, can’t we at least get the spiffy Nazi uniforms?

I’m actually not sure this isn’t a real photograph. The only thing is that I’m pretty sure Teddy only fired a shot in the air as a warning. He then killed the bear with his bare hands.

If taken to its logical and inevitable conclusion, the NFC East is World War 2 and Jerry Jones is Hitler.

Do you guys realize that ‘crab fries’ sounds like a high-tech treatment for pubic lice, like what Commander Riker gets on returning from shore leave? The name “Chickie’s and Pete’s” does not help with the sleazy impression.

During.

That sounds like a Bill Barnwell sort of question. How many teams have less than 3 expected points at the start of a drive from the 20 (I can’t remember what the statistic is called by Barnwell uses it from time to time)? Maybe the Browns and the Titans. That level of offensive ineptness actually seems tough to pull…