Careful in these comments, everybody. Any jokes you make are liable to be copied without attribution into a shitty, self-serving Ted Cruz tweet.

Can someone explain to me how a business determines whether a mother is a single mother? For example, my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years, we have a child together. She’s with him more than I am because I’m on the road as a truck driver. If a business owner sees them together, without me (because I’m…

The Knicks implying in their tweet last night that Oakley has some kind of issue he needs help with, whether they meant mental or substance abuse, is a great look for them too. Really seems to an outside and impartial observer who could give two shits about the Knicks that someone, probably Dolan, doesn’t like the…

The real problem is that is used to be embarrassing to have to have food stamps for more people than not.

So, do you also judge the food choices of everyone on Social Security? All state, local and federal employees (including Congress and all White House staff and all the military)? All employees and owners of businesses you patronize? After all, your money goes to pay for their food, too.

Never 4get: the whole “abortion is the most important issue in the world” bullshit is a grift the evangelicals literally focus-grouped because they couldn’t publicly complain about their real beef, that bob jones u lost tax exempt status for its cartoonishly racist admissions practices

“BREAKING: Sources say Woj is moving to start a new basketball vertical at the Christian Science Monitor. Story to come.” - Chris Broussard.

Boston. I’ve exhausted all my capacity to hate on Boston this week, but obviously it deserves to be on this list because every Boston suburb thinks it’s the single most unique neighborhood on Earth.

Does every player get a Lombardi trophy? Or are they holding the other 4

Pats “got caught cheating” the same way Hillary “got caught” murdering diplomats in Benghazi. That’s why we call it Ballghazi.

So, if one person asked you, you were going to start shooting? Because chowder doesn’t really come in a bucket, and nobody from NE would ever eat shitty Houston chowder.

The scary thing is that I momentarily asked myself “Is this a batshit interview?” simply because he actually answered most of the questions in this one. Normalization is real even when you are smart and looking out for it.

“Trump never said that, Diana! THOSE ARE YOUR WORDS, NOT HIS!! YOUR WORDS!!”

“The NCAA and conferences will continue to vigorously oppose the remaining portion of the lawsuit seeking pay for play,” it reads, adding that compensation would “dismantle college sports.”

The hospital employees who passed the records were sanctioned. That’s the limit of HIPAA

For the millionth fucking time, Adam Schefter was not and is not bound by HIPAA.

He specifically said he owes Walsh for about 80 percent of his career.

Say what you want about Bill Simmons, but he is at least out there trying to create (relatively) independent worthwhile content. I love Deadspin, but its fascination with shitting on Bill Simmons is off-putting.

It’s important to keep in mind that Baylor is a christian school with students who value faith and moral character. If these young women found themselves in undesirable situations, they ought to be looking at their own poor choices and conduct that played a part. This is perhaps another good reminder that young women…