Assuming he was flaccid (which, admittedly is a stretch on account of his clear attraction to Dianna), dicks have this incredible ability to be squished/mashed/crumbled without any issue. Unless your dick is monstrous, you should be able to cover it with one hand. Consider this: The ‘package’ portion of men’s…

Marvel Presents Corridor Fight: The Series

This is the #1 problem I encounter with end users. If you had a landscaping guy insist that someone come help him start the lawn mower every day, he’d be fired inside of a week.

I actually had a teacher wedge her usb mouse into the cat-5 port (broke it).

An unfortunate part of my job involves hiring people, mostly young people. I am seeing a whole new wave of computer ignorance displayed by people who have been interacting with the internet primarily with phones and tablets for most of their lives. We have hired several people in the last year or two that were totally…

“warning: he really hates toys”

Boy, I bet the Great Gazoo subplot is gonna be fucking dark as shit.

I know one actor who realized the movie he was in was shit. Note how Affleck, Fishburne, and Irons are the only three of the main cast to not blame the critics, or at the very least have said nothing, following the release of Crazy Steve v. Super Jesus.

Just like with Jack and C.C. Cunningham! If only they had stayed in Pennsylvania.

I highly recommend spending an hour to watch this video if you are interested:

I love winter. Because I spend all year longing for the sweet, silent embrace of death and winter comes the closest.

I am a life-long resident of the Northeastern U.S. and I would just like to say, as I always say when I pick up a shovel: Fuck you, snow. And fuck you, winter. You are, by far, the shittiest of all seasons, and I will never not look at an adult human who says they love this crappy time of year like they are a…

Off the underside of minks?

The flannel is in the closet.

I don’t normally grammar nitpick, but this is anti-intellectualism in beer form. I don’t like IPAs either, so I drink lagers and double blacks and saisons from craft brewers. I also drink Bud Lights occasionally, and even still get fucked up bro every once in a while.

The point is Inbev is…

Is it one of these? Sometimes things get lost in translation. Maybe they meant H2O bomb?

wtf STAY AWAY FROM THE LAPHROAIG

Well, the original pitch for this article was “If You Have to Choose Between Dying Drunk and Living Sober, Drink the Whiskey” but that was deemed “not very Lifehacker-y.” Editorial censorship at its finest, I’m afraid.