I like my iPhone smooth.

I wonder if bean bags can be used to protect my bean bag during hockey ...

I once had a shirt whose label read "if you must iron, be careful or ask your mother."

The issue really is how much food crop, or arable land that would have been used for food crop, has been repurposed for production of synthetic goods, and that impact on people and the planet.

I mustard all my strength, but I cannot ketchup with the puns. Only the saltiest old bloggers use them. Alright, thyme to go!

All authors, next time you feel compelled to use the term 'anal propagation' it's OK to stop yourself. I was eating breakfast. Ugh. Otherwise, very interesting. But Ugh.

I cannot stomache this.

"Do you mind if I smoke?"

Thank you.

Just 2.1 cents per lumen.

Pun time:

It looks like South Carolina is getting ready to secede, by force if necessary.

Seems everyone is assuming you're a guy. Poor wanker.

Wash your hands! It is Wolowitz's robot.

These look like ice boxes, not refrigerators. But they are very retro and cool!

Slate piece, not pirce.

When Romney saw that, he romneyed! (Or is it romnied?)

Aaaaaand Clinton's on a plane to China!

"So the combination is... one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage! "

What if you're crying because you hate your annoying pillow?