This is so stupid. If you can’t figure out a way to have 35 of your starting catchers 40ish off days fall every 5th day to literally give your team a better shot at winning, then . . . wait, shit. Sorry. Mets. Got it.

Fixed that typo for you:

I almost feel certain that the Raiders, even if they did their due diligence, assumed they were capable of dealing with him.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

The same place as anyone down on their luck with nothing left to lose, VEGAS BABY.

For the record, I think it’s similarly funny that #filthymouthedwife is on this list. The reactionary right just can’t take a smack-down without a completely flaccid and desperate response.

a staggering 18 penalties for 182 yards

Please, please, please NFL: Flex the Pats-Dolphins game to the Sunday night slot. The whole country really needs to laugh right now.

Tanking is like taking a Greyhound bus cross-country. Sure, it may eventually get you to the Gawker offices where you want to go, but it’s got a busted toilet with a bathroom door that won’t stay closed messy and unpleasant and uncomfortable, there’s a one-eyed sailor named Georgio who cleans his toenails with a…

Haven’t seen a dolphin massacre like this since I was last in Japan.

I appreciate the rules you share on how to take responsibility for people who can’t act responsibly. 

“Look, like whatever team you like, but don’t disrespect the city! You gotta be better than that!”
- Some idiot on Philadelphia radio tomorrow, probably.

“That guy, the one who’s huge and totally ripped and considered a great athlete by NBA standards, that’s the dude I’m gonna pick a fight with!”

I don’t hate the LGBTQ community...I just shill for an organization that hates the LGBTQ community. See the difference there?

Hey all. Just wanted to drop in here and give a very sincere thank you to everyone who’s read the piece and everyone who’s commented below. I had to kind of talk myself into writing this, for a number of reasons, but I’m glad I did, and I’m deeply moved by the responses here—by those of you sharing your own…

And yet anyone with half a brain who’s paid attention to football in Los Angeles could (and did) predict this.

Even if the Rams had WON that Super Bowl, I promise you only Magic Johnson would have given a crap... The rest of L.A. would have given zero fucks.

Three years after this franchise relocates to its “home” of more than half a century and the year after the team punches a ticket to the Super Bowl... Yet, still the majority of letters come from St. Louis-era fans.

One of the worst things about that horrible Super Bowl was listening to the NFL and sports radio goobers try and convince us that it was really a great game. DEFENSE! UP FOR GRABS TILL THE END!!! Like we didn’t watch the dullest game in Super Bowl history featuring a bunch of screen passes being thrown at feet and…

The Super Bowl was so boring that people at the party didn't even stop talking through the commercials. The hosts had locked away their kittens but let them out at halftime to entertain us because the game sure wasn't getting the job done.