Thanks for that...I ended up picturing Berman stroking it. Fuck.

Wait until we get to WYTS, Champions League Soccer Edition

“If the Chiefs don’t at least appear in a Super Bowl by the end of the 2020 season, their last appearance will be chronologically closer to the end of World War I than modern day.”

Or as we call it in New York, the Knicks Event Horizon.  We’ll keep a seat warm for you at the bar.  The hemlock shots are excellent. 

After reading all the WYTS this year I’m starting to get the feeling........ that all NFL fanbases are racist

The AFC Title Game Loss/Kareem Hunt waiving/Tyreek Hill Tape Leak trifecta broke this fanbase’s brain. What was a lovely and fun corner of NFL Internet has turned into a consortium of full-on conspiracy theory raging nutjobs. Their rallying cry is that the “NFL has it IN FOR TYREEK if you would just FOLLOW OUR LOGIC…

The AFC Championship game took place the same weekend as my parents’ anniversary, so I, my New Englander wife, and my whole midwestern extended family were together on game day. We turned on the game during the Chiefs’ initial comeback. All through my aunts’ and uncles’ gloating, my wife’s silent fury, the reversal,…

Those of us who watched the Royals lose to the Giants in Game 7 of the 2014 World Series knew exactly what you’re talking about.

Oh god were getting close to the Rams one. I’m not ready for the Rams one I’m still SO ANGRY

“Tyreek Hill will probably get a massive contract extension later in the season only to nullify it when he punches a blind person.”

If the Fins are rebuilding, how does it benefit them to spend draft/young players capital to trade for Clowney when there’s a chance he could clown them (I’m so sorry) by leaving after a year? Just a worthwhile risk because of his talent?

“Why?”

“You just start to wonder whether all this anger and frustration has anything to do with the organization’s decision to punt on being competitive for the foreseeable future.”

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

That dude killed two women and a child and spent an hour running around naked, trying to tackle and wrestle police officers, who absolutely refused to use their service weapons against him, and if watching that video doesn’t tell you 100% the difference between how the police treat black people and white people,…

Adam Shefter is definitely the hard seltzer of sports reporters, so this makes sense on that level.

No no that’s the other guy, bub.

Hey Shohei. Get behind the plate or get the fuck out.

I never went to Bury. It’s not a place I frequented. So for me to walk away from Bury and never go back is a very easy thing to do. I don’t do anything up there. I didn’t even know there was a football team called Bury to be honest with you. I’m not a football fan.

He's also a catcher, an extremely valuable position where you're willing to sacrifice some offense. Try harder. 

Mercenary purchaser buries Bury via fiduciary savagery.