*smashes watermelon*

The best part is there will be a lawsuit when some guy believes he needs to trigger the smoke alarm to start his sprinklers.

“My desires are unconventional.”

Who is this product even for? Like I get that on paper the answer is “grody tech bro libertarians,” but I have to imagine that, for those dudes, making creepy passes at the girl who works the juice bar is a critical part of the juice drinking experience. So... who is this for?

The AV Club

I’m too drunk to edit this comment

“Best way to keep bread fresh is stick it in the fridge.”

That’ll dry it out! Please understand that I mean no disrespect when I say that your people are monsters. 

How about this one: My wife will go lawful evil the first time around, but then, rather than untie the knot, she’ll just chew through the plastic like a goddamn rodent, thus leaving a giant hole in the bag that cannot be covered. Is there room for a terrorist option in this matrix?

“More trouble than it’s worth”? You’re missing the best part of owning bread! It’s when you hold the bag by the opening, then lightly slap the loaf so it spins around and around, thus creating a tight, plastic coil at the top, over which you can easily fit the plastic tab. Nothing could be simpler, and it’s tremendous…

It’s like Bran has the internet and no one else does.

The Bran “I know everything except when I don’t” thing actually does make some sense though— he can see everything, but that doesn’t mean he knows what’s important in context and what he should focus on. That’s why it’s important, for eg., for Sam to nudge him in the direction of Rhaegar and Lyanna’s wedding. He could…

Qyburn disappeared into his chambers with the zombie arm and a big jar of lotion, so in any case he’s currently occupied.

This redesign of AV Club was illogical, dumb, and not fun whatsoever.

In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy’s skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is a magic xylophone, or something?

As usual, The Onion proves to be eerily believable.

So you have a problem with the zombie dragon breathing fire after damage to its imaginary fire glands, but you don’t have a problem with skeleton zombies being able to move without any muscles?

Yeah, this was so far down my list of problems with this season that it didn’t even register.

He’s a zombie dragon. Who gives a shit about the logic of him being able to breathe fire?

I did find the ins and outs of the premise a bit hard to grasp at first, but when I finally got the reason why Toxic Rick is the one who cares about Morty and why Healthy Morty was such an ultimate douchebag, I laughed out loud. Rick hates his attachment to Morty as much as he hates his own insane ego, and Morty…