Unless the show has HELICOPTER RIDES!

"Allegedly" not raping children. We don't know he wasn't.

But I Just Watched the Horror Montage, Internet!

And male.

"The playlist streams with or without a Pandora account, so everyone can enjoy the collection…"

If this video isn't by some friend of Blevins or Dominick Nero, and this isn't an article to get views, then WTF, BFG?

It was a voice-over? Which one, the giant Judd Hirschy one or the tiny Mathilde-y one?

Death and axes, as they say…

"Standard horror flick pays homage to or pokes fun at Stephen King (you decide) with story of successful horror novelist whose fans become a bit too engrossed in his stories-" begins VideoHound Golden Movie Retriever's review (at least up to 2009 or so). So frustrating.

I half-expected the page to just read :
NEEEEEEEERD!!! You clicked on this?!?!

I swear I got an alibi, see?

Wait, but if's she's buying it, and it breaks, can't she just return the Escalator to Heaven? NO? No returns? And that's why the song is named … ? Whoah.

I remember that. Ha. Oh sorry to huh, uh, laugh. I know it's not funny. And same place your son was eaten. Jesus, the "Happiest Place on Earth" Retirement Community sounds a little dangerous.

Give me a plug-in for "Happy Cruelty Day / All Girls are Pretty." There's a calendar…

"Over" 75. Could be 76, but it could be 365!

Now I'll never even get a chance at a fish fetish.

Holy shit! That job sounds amazing. Just googling shit and reiterating the same few facts over and over on twitter, seems like it'd have to be hilarious for at least a couple months. You know, if it pays. Hahahaha, I kid the twitterfeed. Of course the job doesn't pay. So, funny for a week.

If they don't, DIBS! Dibs on DOOP film-rights!

Since DOOP is so powerful, Marvel will call him in for the reboot catastrophe that changes the MCU with new actors, characters, and a new starting-off point for a new generation of fans. You know, while maintaining their respect to the older fans.

Hey yeah, I'm not busy then either. I guess.