It’s not close! She’s losing EVERYWHERE, even next door to me in New Hampshire! I am freaking the fuck out!!! She’s losing MInnesota! MSNBC showed the national vote count and she’s down 51%-44% and my heart skipped a beat...WTF?? I thought all these white people were dead...where did they come from?

I am literally sick to my stomach. No matter,NO MATTER your views on Clinton, there is NO REASON! that a piece of fucking garbage like Trump should be president. He is concerned with one thing, making Donald Trump better.He dosen’t give a fuck about his little cult, and he dosen’t give a fuck about this country. I…

NY Times has flipped their projection to slightly favor Donald Trump. I am petrified right now.

by how close this is.

I feel like my uncut dick is infinitely more attractive than Donald Trump.

My favorite from the comments:

If I find that one I’ll add it!

She married a man that she knew would always be looking over her shoulder. I can’t even imagine.

I want to feel bad about Melania but I can not.

Let’s note the very different takes from Jezebel on two very similar events here. Amy Schumer mocks Trump at a show and gets positive coverage; Dave Chapelle mocks Hillary at a show and gets negative coverage.

Shade is too subtle for Uncle Joe. He’ll just straight out call you a dick.

Death Proof and Planet Terror are works of modern art. I WILL FITE YOU

Some perspective on how historic this is:

But the ‘sexist’ things he says aren’t really sexist because he means those terms as a compliment. He thinks/says that being a ‘tough bitch mother’ is an amazing thing (which it is).

For more on the death business, I highly recommend Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, a half-memoir, half history of death by Caitlin Doughty (of Ask a Mortician fame). It’s incredibly illuminating and beautifully written to boot.

DROP. THE. FUCKING. MIC!!

So weird—I heard she’ll be 45 in January.

“Too gay” = “Any level of gay”

Can you really be “too gay” for magical underpants?