I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to be Meryl!

I just started therapy again, but am going to have to find a new person. She’s an intern and super sweet, but she’s just not right for me.

Jezzies,

Surprise, surprise...Nick doesn’t like being topped.

Without my 10th grade English teacher/swim coach, I would have probably succeeded in committing suicide. Amanda Turner somehow understood what was going on in my family and allowed me the time to process it without question. She encouraged my artistic side, even though she taught a completely different subject. She…

Steve Bannon looks like the cyst I had removed from my breast last year. Send him off to pathology and then destroy him in a fucking medical-grade fire.

Fucking ridiculous.

*internal screaming*

Came here to say this. We were nothing before we were something and back to nothing we return. Unless you believe in something and then, well...pearly gates? Or some shit?

Christ. This is how I feel about swimmers in films. It is NOT that hard to learn how to properly execute a flip turn.

I love this woman more with every tweet. Plus, we get double:

omg good luck and gods bless you.

SPORTSBALL!

God bless you for switching between Black Mirror and The Bachelor. You win the prize.

Is there a reason you’re a shitty-ass internet troll? Who’s to say.

I mean, would it matter to anyone if she did convert? She’s her own person, someone who has exhibited traits of mental illness, and is probably looking for an answer to this crazy life.

Does it count if I live-stream it from a shitty website? I want the laughs. I NEED the laughs.

What are “suitable homes” to the Feld family? It blows my mind that a circus with live animal shows still exists. I hope they lose sleep at night.

Anna and Ellie- can we be bffs? You have great taste.

This fucking shitbag. I feel physically ill when I read this.