I’m too lazy to paint my nails, but I would if I had this.

Well done on the 100%! Sounds like a great read!

Honestly, why the fuck is this news.

Even that sounds lovely! I currently live in a place where it’s physically painful to go outside, so I’m dreaming of lots of sun...

I dream of living in a place where I can strip naked and run around on a beach.

World’s Greatest Dad hit me right in the feels. Woof.

Fish death is rough. When I started tanking, it took me a bit to get things right and more than a few fish suffered. It was always terrible sending them to the big toilet bowl in the sky. Feel you on this.

Drinking merlot and watching Christiane F. Miss u, Bowie.

You know when you make terrible life decisions and are then forced to live with them? And then you see the love or your life again and you’re not married to him, but are married to that terrible life decision? And then you fall into a pit of despair because things could have been so different...

I mean, WoW or Skyrim would be good, but I don’t know how you feel about console gaming.

Food porn x 100000000

Cabernet. Drowning my sorrows has never felt so ineffective.

This has been one of my most interesting holidays. I spent the vast majority talking someone off the (figurative) ledge. He hung up on me and I hope he is okay. I don’t know. It breaks my heart- from one suicidal human to another.

I am so full but I want to eat more.

I hate everything about this, but I would kill for long legs.

Is it too much to hope that he goes into cardiac arrest?

Goddamnit- that last story. I am in a room full of napping toddlers and I just lost my shit. I can’t read BCO during work hours anymore.

I’m watching Heathers because I wish to live in a time where big hair was lauded. Please pray for me, as I have just applied for a position with the mortuary science department. I want this job like nothing I have ever wanted before.

My husband only uses butter to make sandwiches. Of all kinds.

Good luck on your interview!