Spock

I must be the only person alive that wants to see Tebow play in the NFL again. And I’m an eagles fan. AND I hated Tebow in college.

I sure hope so. Sooooo much better than that ol' gasbag. Get rid of Kruk too while they're at it.

Glad he’s finally caught a break.

Whose grandma are you? What kind of way is that to quote an article....

This isn’t the first time an intern landed someone from Washington in trouble.

This is not unlike that time Mickey Mantle’s rotary phone intern accidentally called one of Mick’s whores during a game against the Senators.

“Almost"?

I guess he didn’t care if he ever got back.

“Torontonians clearly miss hockey season.”

I don’t know how the Blue Jays are putting a whooping on the Rangers when they’re playing Detroit but it’s pretty goddamn impressive.

I came here expecting boners. I left displeased.

True story: When I was a teenager, I tried to talk up a girl in the Dallas airport. I mentioned I was from DC, and some drunk Cowboys fan three times my age tried to pick a fight with me.

Do you know what Brokeback Mountain has in common with the NFL?

(Appalled that I didn’t immediately see this in the comments)

How has someone with a working knowledge of the English language, an IQ over 100, and an acute distaste for cheesesteak, not walked into this town and declared themselves King yet? It’s a city comprised solely of chain-smoking, playdough humanoids who smoke Marlboro reds and pound Natty Ice.
Blows my fucking mind.

A Jay Gruden fat joke? Now that’s an offensive line that RGIII can really get behind.

Don’t get my hopes up.

“Those bastards in Bristol are ruining everything,” Palin continued. “I’ll be babysitting every weekend ‘til I’m fucking 75 years old at this rate.”

“Now...where was I on the ESPN thing....oh right, Curt Schilling...”