I saw their wedding picture and was like “who the fuck would marry that massive tool?” and now I know. Another massive tool. Those two deserve each other, but why do the rest of us need to be punished??

I am estranged from my own mother due to her awful behavior (though this is a special kind of assholery). My life, and my child’s life, is much better for it. It’s hard, and there have been so many times when it would be easier to just give in, but at the end of the day, cutting out such a toxic person is the best…

I hate Mount Rushmore. We did a national parks thing last summer and I thought I could handle it for the sake of family unity (husband’s family; I’d have told mine to fuck off) but we got there and I started crying and spent most of the time in the cafeteria. You rarely get such an up close and personal view of how…

I’m in love with his yarmulke matching her dress. A++ elderly couple cuteness.

I am in the hospital right now, land of the uncomfortable hospital beds that make bras even more excruciating. If I had known this existed 3 days ago, I would be much happier right now (i’ve been doing the old tuck-the-gown-under-the-boobs but this would be so much better). I am ordering this asap.

Preeclampsia is super common, so that would be my first guess. I mean, some babies are also just born small, but it seems likely. Baby Buttercup had to come 6 weeks early because of preeclampsia, but luckily we didn’t have any growth restriction. I was scared enough when all the symptoms were just on me - I can’t…

Preeclampsia can cause growth restriction, among other things, which could be why he was born slightly early/pretty small.

This. I know there are a lot of crazy Beyoncé die-hards but holy hell, can we not give this guy one fucking break? People cheat. A LOT of people cheat. Does that make it okay to go back on a promise you made? No. But people are human, they fuck up ALL THE TIME, and isn’t there *anything* we can find redeeming about a…

Related: I have a cousin that married a guy with the same first name, and then she changed her last name, so they now have the exact same name. I mean hers has an extra letter but it is...confusing...when they come up in conversation or if you’re not looking closely enough on social media.

Kids are weird, so I 100% believe both the butthole and the yodeling happened. My youngest brother went through a phase of stripping every time that Usher song “Yeah” came on...the summer it was #1 on the charts and playing every time we stepped into a public place. It was...awkward.

For reeeeeal though. He can’t remember to put socks on the baby half the time and thinks having a 1 month old hanging out in just a diaper in February is cool. They need a supervisor.

I recently told my husband that if something happened to me, I’d want him to remarry (obviously to someone nice that he loves) quickly. I’ll be dead so I don’t care, and my kid would get nothing but good things from someone else stepping in to help raise him after I’m gone. I want to be missed, but not so much that my…

Uh smuggling in artifacts by deliberately mislabeling them seems like a bit more than “regrettable mistakes” due to “inexperience”. The smuggling part makes it seem like you kiiiiinda knew what you were doing.

#TeamSomeoneForTheLoveOfGodTakeThatChildAway

We call Mini-buttercup ‘Baby Sir’ but...it’s not his real name. Sigh.

I honestly cannot believe that anyone who actually gets a look at their placenta would want it anywhere near their mouth. It looks like a demon alien. Also I had preeclampsia, so I’m pretty sure eating mine would have given me, at the very least, bad karma.

Hard nah. Extreme nah. So, so nah.

I kind of agree, but also, I DID put my hand on my belly about 47 times per hour when I was pregnant, so I don’t know that it’s entirely a false thing. It gets to be a comfort thing after a while. Sometimes I still do it but it’s less cute 5 months post partum...

I am just a regular person who wanted only ONE person kept from finding out about the birth of my child/where we were at (my mother) and we had to go to great lengths to do so. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks and the amount of work we had to do to make sure nobody accidentally gave out info was ridiculous (it’s…

If you think that “more than half” of the accusations are NOT true, then it follows that you think that some of them ARE true. So...what?? Ugggghhhh this whole thing makes me feel like never leaving my house 😣