I feel like a moron for laughing as hard as I did at this.

I was specifically thinking of that when I wrote that editor’s note.

“They first bitch about all the fish.”

As someone who loves pineapple (with bacon) on pizza, the thought of grape jelly on pizza is nastification in food form.

As a big fan of jelly on sausage biscuits, I can at least kind of understand jelly on a burger. Not on pizza, though.

Oooohhhh....you posted that story a few weeks ago of the server who broiled a bowl to satisfy the woman who made it known she would send the dish back if it wasn’t hot enough, and in a rather stunning confirmation of Pinkham’s law, there were an astonishing number of idiots who said the server assaulted the customer…

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.

“whom we all called Caramel Lady. ”

Here’s the thing, though: People act like anyone in the South goes to a restaurant and says “I’ll have a coke” and then the server asks “what kind?”.

thank god i was wondering when i could finally see a show about a man who has to learn to live and love again.

100% for traditional marriage!

That was something I was so conscious of when I hosted. First off, keep in mind that most restaurant managers make the egregious error of thinking that hosting is an entry level position. IMO it was one of the most important FOH positions - it’s the first point of entry and the last person to wish you a good night,…

I’m amazed they don’t look at you like you’re crazy when you say “soda.” Isn’t Minnesota deep in the heart of Pop Territory?

There actually IS a reason for this, though: typically when it’s that dead, there’s only one server working, and the host doesn’t want to make the server run from one end of the restaurant to the other unnecessarily.

“That would be a puddle of cheese, and we don’t do that” is one of the single most perfect server quotes we’ve ever had here.

Well, obviously that’s the good table since that’s the only one where people were sitting!

Potentially unpopular opinion:

If only Shumate had been an unborn fetus, I’m sure she would have cared more about him.