My imaginary oldest, from the imaginary first marriage, plays violin, but she’s driving herself to orchestra and practice in my imaginary old Peugeot 505.

Every now and then the need to make a terrible joke takes over my body!

Oh, I know who he is. He’s apparently a wack enough rapper where he lost a diss track war with Drake. That’s... sad.

Maybe now my Nicki Minaj-Cory Booker erotic fiction can become a REALITY!!

He’s going to break an ankle tripping over himself trying to get to the studio to clown himself. JBH, I am here for it.

Drake absolutely does not know better. Countdown to the first Ode to Nicki.

Meek quit clownin and get off Jez wit you sour ass

What is wrong with his chest?

Captain America was hip to this trend 15(?) years ago*

Pedantic nerd moment: Not all LARP is medieval or fantasy based. There are some set in the old west, in the present-day, and there’s a large network across North America that does a post-apocalyptic zombie setting, called Dystopia Rising (my personal favourite, because I have no patience for elves or vampires). But…

I never held true animosity towards Meek

I think they might genuinely enjoy one another’s company. No doubt there are practical reasons too, and each brings different social currency to the match, but maybe a lot of what’s in it for her is just him. And vice versa!

Snapchat is a strong woman who doesn’t need your slut shaming, MatisyahuSerious.

There’s zero chance Meek didn’t turn into a blubbering mess when she finally broke the news. He can’t drop an album without monitoring who tweets about it, he can’t handle losing his meal ticket like this.

She finally dropped that scrub-hasn’t-even-had-a-good-feature-since-Big-Daddy

Don’t be fooled, she loves the attention and flattery and Hollywood bullshit. No woman puts up with that insane wedding, with the ferrying guests in on boats for pap pics and wearing seven different outfits, or attending all his award ‘dos, if she isn’t into the fame thing. She married a guy who does coffee maker…

Every time I read about them I have to think about Tina and Amy’s joke at the Golden Globes:

You don’t CONTROL her. And she doesn’t need your FEEDBACK. She can have a child ANY TIME, ANY PLACE she wants. ALRIGHT? Your opinion DOESN’T REALLY MATTER.