Jesus Christ, Michael. Keep your brother on a leash!

They're nuts that go on your truck.

His excuse that he was just "three sheets to the wind" isn't going to help.

Unless your campus/town has an open container law.

Martinez: "Pick up the fucking balls. You’re part of this fucking team."

If it takes a minor celeb to remind even one person that driving sleepy is one of the worst things you can do behind the wheel, so be it.

The Yankees might not be hitting home runs, but with A-Rod still technically on the team, there are plenty of warning track marks.

With all due respect and condolences to the friends and family of Mr. Manukainiu and the other occupants of his car, I'm always irritated to see stories elevated in importance when it happens to some sports person or minor celebrity that I've never heard of.

Good thing he didn't hit Pedroia. That bat would've been sanded down to a toothpick.

If I were the Yankees, I'd praise AROD and talk about wanting to sign him to an even longer term deal. Hopefully, he'd opt out of the current one and then Cashman can just take off running down the street like he just found the Golden Ticket.

The word ghetto originally meant the area of Venice in which the Jews lived...so actually, yeah, Smallwood does speak ghetto.

Sonnen: Speak English, I don't speak ghetto!

Of course he's calm. Lamar Odom has been "pawing through the backseat" of something that has been smashed with a "metal bar" for a few years now.

My favorite part was when you burned down the University of Missouri.

Vandy? WTF?

Good thing the TBI is taking this seriously. The initial investigation was performed by the Tennessee Metropolitan Investigation unit. But after hearing the lurid details officers abandoned the case for being "gross and none of their business".

I'll be looking at this 7 minute workout thing but, if I was looking for an app, I would probably first try:

He should consider himself lucky; that's the first time someone's had a gun on him in three years.

High five!

On the cocaine thing....