I fixed it for you, but it’s only going to break your heart. 

I have a soft spot for Alec Baldwin, but there’s really no pretending that he’s not a pretty terrible person.

If you can take big risks, fail, and still win, then where’s the risk?

When I was in college I spent literally all of my extra money every month on weed, does that count? 

I once got Mozzarella sticks with my dinner at Applebees

This is Oberon (his show name is Floki) When I was a kid, my parents couldn’t afford to buy me the kind of horses I dreamed of riding. I wanted to jump big fences, and bring home the gold for the good old USA. I stopped riding for years, but when I got old enough to have some disposable income, this is what I splurged…

Let’s be honest. If Aliya Mustafina performed the exact routines with the same falls as Simone, these people would not be complaining about Aliya winning the gold with two falls. They’d be giggling and yelling, “Yasss, Queen!” all over the gymternet.

She sang at the 2012 Olympics (sort of inexplicably) because she had the #1 song that summer and she’s British? The “It’s not about the money, money money, we don’t want your money, money, money, we just want to make the world dance, forget about the price tag.” I believe it’s called “Price Tag.” Yes, I am too lazy to…

I’ve been a fan of Debra Winger since she was Wonder Girl.

I have a feeling we’re about to find out a lot about the state of our military. Not too long ago I said to a buddy who’s a Marine officer that when I was in there’s no way on earth any asshole in Washington could have ordered us to fire on refugees at the US border.

SHE FUCKING RUINS EVERYTHING.

Kanye supposedly told TMZ that he felt used by black female republican Candace Whatever her last name is and the Blexit platform. But he didn’t feel used by white male republican Trump. Actually, he said that his tweets didnt mention Trump.

You apologize to me RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, Megan. We are supposed to be the cool ones, dammit.

Me too. Please please please don’t let her share the same birthday as me.

Megan Kelly’s a Scorpio?! Nooooooo!  

Jesus fucking Christ.

Yes, the absolute best way to fix a problem is to stand on the sideline and feel morally superior about it.

I really hope someone from the Root utterly tears this article apart, because this is a great example of white privilege.

Shut the fuck up.

none of these are valid excuses. All these ppl are morons and we are all going to die.