Were you out all fucking night?

“No I’m not high or drunk I just want to play more football.”

Not sure I like the direction the sausage race has taken.

Mario Chalmers just sent Frye an Edible Arrangement.

I’ll bet that Olympian loves that pussy Rio T.

This truly is a mystery. And like any good mystery, the butler did it.

Methinks the Ley-dy doth protest too much.

There’s no institution, no matter how worthy, that involves an older person with authority over young people that is immune from sexual abuse.

Harvey kept insisting that he was ready to hurl.

Finally, somebody said it. Nobody cares about your struggles. Maybe don’t live in the antarctic.

hey girl, whats ursine?

As you age, tastes change. I for one have found I no longer like Honey Nut Cheerios either.

Sanchez told the Daily News that she and her daughter were Reyes’ “road family,”

I assume the other party in the murder suicide was a grizzly bear.

A toddler might say to you, “Vroom vroom, I am a truck!”

Being employed at Galileo, it is surprising to find that Papa thinks everything revolves around him.

Yeah but the NFL is obviously fixed, and wrestling is real.

Yes, you’re right. It definitely is not a sports entertainment promotion featuring musclebound men wearing sparkly spandex costumes slamming each other around for spectacle. It’s some whole other, more serious thing.

D.B. Pooper

Somebody was listening to Chris Carter.