Funniest comment I've ever read on here. All the praise to you sir

Wow. Most kids hate the taste of ginger.

Pro tip: If you’re thinking of adding the traditional lime too, just squirt some tartar sauce in the bottle. Saves time, and you still get the joy of vomiting everywhere.

This is arguably more hygienic than going to Rio, too.

First off let me start off by saying “ All Praise Due To The Most High.”

I hate mayo, but I’m almost inclined to believe it will make that piss water somehow taste better.

Well at least one of them is guaranteed gold.

This is so goddamn disgusting. Why would anyone put mayonnaise in a Corona?

The use of tools to accomplish basic tasks is an important indicator of intelligence.

I would love to see Deadspin and Jalopnik unshackled from the Gawker/Jezebel shitshow.

Dear Best Fans in Baseball. STOP.

...the second round regular phase of the Rule 4 summer free agent selection meeting for the purpose of negotiating a professional baseball contract

Holy shit! The dude next to Gilbert is more orange than Donald Trump...I didn’t think that was possible.

He also wasted no time in having Shaq as a teammate and Phil as a coach.

I mean it’s Warren Buffet and Dan Gilbert, but yeah the guy with the pinky ring looks like a robot alien in a skin suit of what it perceived to be a refined older gentleman. It really gets less human as you move from left to right.

Can we get a Deadspin expose done on the terrifying, subhuman creatures who are the people with NBA sideline seats?

The problem isn’t that the Cardinals organization drives to drink.

If only there was a song about burning down the house...

“You don’t have a bodyache for two weeks, you don’t have headaches, throwing up, weaknesses for two weeks.”