This is for everybody who had to read this story.

Thanks for reminding me internet kitteh :)

Springfield is western Mass.

I can't fucking deal with any of this.

That particular short story is called "Guts." There was actually a similar real life occurrence a few years ago and the person lived. He wasn't masturbating though. *cringes and rolls into the fetal position forever*

I love Christopher Walken as her crazy brother.

I love the gif of him talking about how he almost got fired from the first Twilight movie. "Hiiii!" I hope he continues choosing some edgy roles for his career like he did with Cosmopolis.

I've been laughing for about 5 minutes straight. That is fantastic!