“Luzyanin calls the machine Hamster due to its ... ability to traverse all kinds of terrain.”

Having owned many hamsters, this gave me a real chuckle. I’ve seen hamsters unable to navigate simple obstacles because their enormous testicles get in the way. This seems like an analogy, maybe.

Also, hamsters will freely…

Oh man, right? If this had normal doors and no fake scoops, it would be amazing and I would love it so hard. 

I taught our kids that these were “Music vans” and just cruised through neighborhoods playing a jaunty tune to make people happy.

They’re gonna put me the worst retirement home, I just know it. 

Bonus anecdote, they DID let her drive occasionally when the other two drivers were dangerously tired and/or they were on a long empty stretch like the Alaskan Highway.

At one they other two drivers woke up to normal driving on an empty stretch, and came upon a crew going the same direction re-painting the yellow…

My grandfather had an elderly friend who needed to be re-tested to renew his license. The friend was indignant about it, insisting that it was a silly rule, he’d been driving all his life without a ticket or an accident, and he was a better driver than the crazy kids getting their licenses every day. The friend drove…

When I was younger, my girlfriend and two of her friends wanted to drive from NH to Alaska to work the salmon season and have an adventure. They hadn’t driven together before this trip.

I don’t have super strong feelings, but when I visited a power plant (for work) they certainly did.

I parked nose in, and the administrator ran out to tell me I needed to back in like everybody else.

“We don’t want people backing into each other if there happens to be a thermal event and we all have to leave at once”

So…

It the track had been created for the cars you’re mentioning, this mentality would make sense.

But the track was here first. The cars are created to run there. If they can’t run Sebring, they weren’t made right or weren’t set up right.

This article made me angry. It was an interesting setup that left me feeling dumber than I did before I clicked it. This is anti-content. I feel like you’re punishing us for continuing to click on these things. 

I super apprecaite this kind of work, or at least I did back when I played mod-able games. I have super fond memories of trying to turn Sports Car GT into a weekender ‘run what you brung’ hodge podge of low budget track cars.

Then I’d fire up a race and find that some prankster had given the Chrysler 300 insane…

That looks super familiar, but I can’t place it...  What’s it from?

It depends on the size of the parrot.

Ugly. 

I happen to be dating at a point in my life when I drove a questionable Dodge Magnum. It was a fleet vehicle, then an auction vehicle, then a repo vehicle, then it was sold to me by a crack addict (“this* job is my get off the streets job” *It was a gravel lot dealer selling $2k below blue book) with an odometer that…

This may now be my favorite bit of writing on Jalopnik.

Except there’s not a thing in that cartoon that mentions conservatives. Wanting to kill black people *is* the opposite of civil rights.

It’s almost certainly punched fewer people in the face. 

Star for mentioning Live for Speed. I use to write for Race Sim Central’s zine back in the day, and LfS will always have a special place in my heart.

Buttery Males is what I hear. 

I have a friend that drives a Mustang. He had a sticker on the grill that read “Insert Crowd Here” as a self effacing joke.

Unfortunately the other parents at the school where he picked up and dropped off his kids didn’t get the joke, and he got a message from administration asking that he not bring that car to the…