Magnum R/T. It’s rough as hell, turned out to have 144k miles on it, and I absolutely love it. Only paid $8.23 per horsepower!

“This is my get-off-the-streets job” she said at one point. 

I got some red flags going on:

I bought a car off a crack addict. That wasn’t a judgement, it’s how she self identified.

All pics of the car were taken with the sun behind it. ALL pics. Meaning they had to move the car to ensure both front and back pictures were obliterated by lens flair.

Odometer said “DONE”

No, I don’t have the title like, right…

My days of rolling my eyes at grumpy superiority on Jalopnik sure are coming to a middle. 

And a Jalop with a sense of humor and wonder removed isn’t a Jalop. 

Tires screeching on gravel. 

I learned the hard way that nothing is as dangerous as a little bit of knowledge.

I had an ‘84 Golf that was blowing some sweet smelling smoke out the back. Someone told me it might be a head gasket leak, so I applied the troubleshooting knowledge I had: Check the oil and see if it’s milky from radiator fluid…

My daughter named her hamster “Hammond”

My first thought as well. 

Salty much? My car is a RWD platform that is also available in AWD. If I said I had a RWD Magnum R/T RWD, I’d deserve at least as many eye rolls as you’re getting.

It’s RWD and AWD? So the rear tires are....driven twice?

If I got mad at pimento references, I would be living a very strange life. I bet my backstory would be hilarious.

(and no, NH license plates were white and green, if I recall).

Speaking of mad, our previous vanity plate was “O-IC”. I loved listening to people trying to figure it out, and then demanding those 30 seconds…

Just the license plate (which sticks out the end of the olive).

Doesn’t hurt that the car was roughly olive shaped. 

Oh man, I had a olive green* ‘98 Altima SE, manual. Plaid interior, white gauges, and that unstoppable engine. It leaned like a mofo in corners (especially coming to it from a Golf), but it had a high funk/quirk component, it was fun and practical going clubbing with friends, and later holding a car seat for our kids,…

“was just a bridge too far”

I don’t know if I should be impressed or embarrassed.  

Rampant Hooning Irritates Natural Order. 

There’s an S-Type in Austin that’s repeatedly showing up on Craigslist for $3k. I think it keeps being sold and immediately re-listed.

I imagine it’s like owning a monkey. Sounds like a great idea when you see one for cheap dollars, until you realize it’s gonna cost more than the purchase price in bi-monthly repairs,…

My dad had an orange Karmann-Ghia. I was in the passenger seat with my elbow out the window when he took a left turn in a busy Cincinnati intersection. The door popped open, I slid out, and ended up hanging from the door as my dad reached out and grabbed me by the jacket.

Still loved the car, even with the rope around…

The fact that they found the car first is part of the answer to your question.