As a UGA alum, I feel like I just broke up with a girlfriend who was wholesome and amazing but couldn’t clinch a SEC title. I am not good at metaphors.

Whoever he is, he just blew by Rubio and Bush in the polls and is nipping at Carson’s heels.

A dumber first name?

If you’re an athletic booster who says you’re fine paying a coach’s eight-figure buyout while the school is having to prepare contingency plans for bankruptcy, then fuck you.

Considering you need to be licensed and trained to use any of the vehicles you listed, I’d rather take my chances with them rather than some armed nutjob who can go and get a gun with neither.

There very well be mental illness at play here. But mental illness doesn’t equal violence. Plus, as Obama noted a few years ago, the US doesn’t have a monopoly on mental illness. We sadly aren’t even the only country with widespread white male privilege and national political figures who spew out hateful rhetoric that…

You could build an entire house out of all that straw.

“Practice your attitude” = “Women and black people should remember how to speak when talking to their betters.”

Reporter: Do you have any defense for your involvement in these incidents?

Drinking and fighting on a regular basis. That’s not healthy.

Good luck, thanks to America’s crumbling infrastructure there are way les miles of rail than there used to be.

So, as an LSU fan, I have to say I’m pretty disappointed with all of this. Les is our most successful coach ever, and has been nothing but a class act throughout his tenure, even during this debacle. And to top it off, we’re probably gonna hire goddamn Jimbo Fisher, who is the scum of the earth and an enabler of…

... from a stepstool.

Dude, please learn what apostrophes do.

They’re now calling him Tony Oh No!

Oh look, Drunk Uncle makes a thanksgiving day appearance.

Waiting for the ‘let Johnny have fun’ crowd to rationalize this one. Because straight lying to cover your drinking—and begging your friends to help you do so—that is NEVER a classic textbook thing that alcoholics always do.

If there is a safe haven for those who lie about video, it’s Chicago.

Another step on his slow descent from Johnny Football to Johnny 99.

Somebody took notes during Cris Carter’s seminar.