Nobody's going to throw back that jack. My god, Papi! What a hit.

You're excited? Feel these nipples!

"Great, now where do I put my vinegar?"—Robby Painter

If there's any woman in the world who can be in a room with a bunch of old, white men deciding who is going to inflict life-altering amounts of violence against one another for the benefit of American corporations...it's Condi Rice.

Hegel-er with the sub, late goal? How phenomenal(ogy of Spirit)

Who just saw Tony Gonzalez go full Ron Burgundy on his player intro?

The bulldog was just exhausted from staying up all night trying to convince his owners to shoot videos in landscape mode.

Di Canio regrets being so Mussolenient with the players.

Here's the bigger mystery: Why did Schefter steal AOL Moviephone's 1998 design for his Twitter background?

DS! Put up the Mikel goal against Fulham today. His first in 261 Premier League matches!

Not enough casual racism.

They really should have gone on more of a dry run, because right now, it seems like they've got a bit of a mess on their hands.

You've got it all wrong—Luck is the guy who throws, other players have to catch.

That thing was designed by whatever abomination convinced Cubes to change the Mavericks' logo.

Honestly, I like the Indy change. Seeing the "redesigned" Colts logo is like walking out of Plato's cave for the first time. The logo has literally been a C the entire time, we just never saw it!

PPD: Feeling's gone; can't go on

Maybe they were "found out" by other, stronger teams, in the playoffs, but it's hard to argue with 3 Super Bowls, 2 Super Bowl appearances, and a couple of AFC Championship losses to the eventual champions (Colts, Ravens) in the past decade. It's incredibly hard to win a football game, and a football championship, and…

Chris Benoit once tried to do this in one of his promos, but he choked.

"Cannot beheld"? Looks like they've got some verb tense agreement mistakes, too.

Seems like the Stassi would be a lot better at surveillance of other's actions.