Fair enough. I think my main point is that given the way her ex-husband has been acting ever since she left him, I don’t believe a word he says. I therefore assume that Frances Bean must have had reasons to handle things the way she did. Spousal support ensures that you are still somewhat tied together legally, maybe…

Might be a good idea to apply Occam’s razor here. What requires a greater suspension of belief, that a guy who has already proven to be an asshole by keeping the guitar is proving to be an even bigger asshole or that some (admittedly pretty loopy) people planned and attempted an insane kidnapping plot? Like, it’s not…

Damn, blaming Melanie for the kid’s name

This story would be better if she dumped you because you weren’t in Who’s Who, but I’ll take it.

You are not. I used my cat to judge potential partners. He had impeccable taste.

He consoles himself with “at least I’m the tallest.”

Alternate article title: The Whites Continue to White So Hard

LEAVE JOHN GOODMAN ALONE!!!!

please do it

You get panned to the left, panned to right, and you’re the only show in town.

Totally apolitical question: why the fuck does Melania’s eyeliner always look like it was done by a chain-smoking 14-year-old in a trailer park?

Hello darkness my old friend....

I need Shade Court to return for this! Please Kara!!

Ambien is a helluva drug.

I love it when Jezebel does a post about hip hop beef. I get a kick out of reading the comments. I distinctly remember when Jez wrote something about the shellacking Remy Ma gave Nicki and a commenter left a comment sincerely saying Nicki Minaj should call the police.

WHERE’S SHELLY?????

Are we.... really at the point where the President of the United States, says “she’s right there looking at us,” which is clearly a lie, and it doesn’t even register to anyone, or it’s just doesn’t matter... So did all the reporters look over, thought “what the fuck is is pointing to” and not seeing Melania and just…

KID, HAVE YOU SEEN MELANIe?

I don’t know how to insert pictures but if I could it would just be a picture of Joshua Jackson and the act of googling a picture of him is the closest I’ve ever gotten to him and I still choose him.