a major mistake from probable World Cup number-one Brad Guzan

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

And much respect to Deadspin for not letting this one go and publishing what they have.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

ROOT FOR GOLIATH.

Because you are dead inside, have no soul, and look at Donald Trump and think “Yes.... yes.... this man and his ideas should be given as much power as our society can grant.”

I’m proud of you son

That moment when you realize social chair Braxton booked the Beta Butt Chug Formal on the same night that Entourage comes out on DVD.

What the fuck kind of Cobra Kai is that?

“Thanks to lax weed laws and the need for literally EVERY male resident of Colorado to open his own terrible microbrewery (“HURRRR I CAN MAKE BEER FOR A LIVING AND GIVE IT FUN NAMES HURRR”), Denver is now a horrifically expensive boutique neighborhood for hippie assholes, and it is surrounded by suburbs packed to the…

but then he’s actually alive inside the casket, and jumps out and gives them a “Gotcha!” finger-point, right? RIGHT?????

I’ve always had a fantasy where they bring out the family and kids, and when they say turn around or Let’s welcome home Corporal Marine Todd, the family turns around overjoyed and then they wheel out a casket with the flag draped over it.

Classic Eagles fan

My father took me to an Eagles game in 1977. The Eagles lost. I was 8. He got drunk and drove home to Elizabethtown with me asleep in the back of the, you know it, International Travelall. He got popped in Maytown, PA (stopped in to grab a beer with a buddy; I continued to sleep) by the cops for a DUI. They saw me…

Susan will be the gift that keeps on giving.

I love Rex Ryan as much as the next fan, but a retread is a retread.

This guy is like the 3rd smartest Texans fan in the world.