it would solve the problem of you owning a dog, very, very quickly.

fond memories of the Emu War, wherein the Australian army took on their feral hog-analogues and lost

He was definitely wrong if he was advocating for the AR-15 or anything else chambered for .223, unless you happen to like hogs to be bloodied and pissed off but very much alive. There’s some superficial appeal to the idea of something high-capacity and quick for dealing with a large number of hogs, but that doesn’t…

What’s your beef here, Chuckles? Cam Newton plays a violent game and is the supposed leader of his team. It was the Super Bowl. They needed that possession to have a shot. And he Todd Pinkston’d his way to infamy in the most cowardly way possible. So instead of ragging on another internet commenter, why don’t you…

I’m fairly sure it was sometime during their Super Bowl season, but I wish someone had made a .gif of Cam running in for a touchdown from the goal line and he runs up to an end zone camera and starts dancing. All the blockers who made that TD possible are patiently standing behind him, a lineman holding the ball out, w…

Sarah Palin, FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK...

And to think this is one of your nicer posts.

I looked up “pack of feral hogs,” and have learned that it can be referred to as a Sounder of Swine, which is both wonderful to say, and may be my next band’s name.

‘guns’ schmuns! just need a few of these devices scattered about

It’s tough for Cam. He probably sees at least 3 footballs after all the concussions.

“Somebody needs to get these piaggs.”

Dave Portnoy has a Kinja?

I’ve risked far more for much less.

No, the convicted Speakers! Perzel and DeWeese. They have no shame.

The Panthers are the most McMansiony of all the newer NFL teams. There’s a flashy surface value to them that covers up cheap drywall, a leaky roof, and faulty plumbing that always need fixing every couple years. They have the personality of a subdivision called Gridiron Grotto where there’s an artificial lake that is…

I assume he didn’t want to risk an injury that would prevent him from giving his post-game press conference in the really cool hat he had picked out.

There’s good precedent for that. The PA state Capitol has a hallway with portraits of about a dozen House Speakers. This being Pennsylvania, three of them became corrupt and ended up in prison.

Submissions for the NFL previews are closed. Next up: Cleveland Browns.

I feel like there are any number of potential creative ways to make the best of honoring the letter of that contract. Place a plaque reading, “<— Fuck This Guy” two feet away, or strew birdseed on the ground every morning until local pigeons are trained to come and shit in that specific spot.

“Luke Kuechly shouldn’t be on a football field anymore but he’ll play until he’s 37 anyway and die when he’s 52.”