.......There is truly no way to defend someone who thinks airports existed in the American Revolution.

“... only Republican donors got to see them.... there’s no such thing as a free tank.”

14 Russian sailors died from poisonous fumes caused by a submarine fire. That's what Putin is dealing with. Dunno why Pence is in DC though

TAKE YOUR DAMN STAR!  THE SPINAL TAP DRUMMER SURE DID!

It’s very difficult to dust for vomit.

He probably choked on someone else’s vomit.

Too much work. Just pour yourself a drink, sit on the porch, and wait for the shockwave. 

Just drink until the nukes land.

That’s most likely an unrelated matter.

Mike Pence on opioids sounds like the least fun party ever.

I think the best thing we can do is keep following the reports and hope that the good reporters keep asking questions

They’re not about to fight each other. You don’t fight people you’re cooperating with.

True. He probably thinks they’re “ethnic”.

Oh.

His boss also had to reschedule

He’s definitely the guy who thinks paprika makes a dish too spicy.

The way they keep saying it has nothing to do with the POTUS’ health makes me think it absolutely has to do with the POTUS’ health. Probably threw a tantrum of some kind and Pence is the only person that can calm him down. That or Trump had some kind of rage-stroke on the toilet while tweeting about his tank parade…

“He was scheduled to attend an event on opioids in New Hampshire”

He found out that there was a woman in the room in New Hampshire who is not Mother.