Carry a bag of peas. Leave a pea wherever you go.

How does your mom feel about threesomes?

I’m not going to begrudge anyone who survived a brutal attack the right to make money from that. She’s profiting from telling her story? I’m cool with that.

Minor correction - “when well-to-do white moms do this shit...”

I was born in 89 and, once a month during the 90s, my mom left me in the toy section of a department store for 30 minutes while she went to pay her credit card some 70 feet away. I imagine she should be rotting in jail.

Oceans 401(k)?

Funny thing, I’m in approximately the same boat as Frau von Hatchet, and found her post on-point and amusing. Where is all the hatred of men you claim to see? She’s laughing because dude is finding out what it’s like to be sidelined because of ageing, just like all women do. That’s not the same as hating men, and…

Wait, is this a troll post? Because accusing a black man dressing like a slave owner as a joke is messed up.

No, he doesn’t. He dresses like an Edwardian which is decades AFTER slavery was abolished.

If you guys can’t stop bickering I WILL TURN THIS INTERNET RIGHT AROUND

THIS IS THE JOKE YOU GUYS

oh brother.

Holy shit you white-washed this cast.

Jesus H Christ.... Ok fine maybe sending them somewhere neutral is the best thing right now. Doing what's best for the boys should've been everyone's prime concern. Sending them to a juvenile detention facility seemingly out of spite was NOT doing that. She deserves all the criticism she's getting for doing that to…

Is she fucking the father? That's the only theory I can come up with for why this vile moron seems more concerned about the father getting what he wants instead of what's best for the kids. Judges like her are evil. That sounds hyperbolic but until you've dealt with a judge or a police officer or any person with…

It’s also really common for kids to (of their own volition!) not like a parent and not feel safe with them. All those kids are old enough to have their own opinions. I can’t tell you how shitty it is to be told by the court that because you are not 18, it is impossible that you would have any independent thought and…

Perky Jerky!

As as dad, I can assure you - it’s all we have. We have nothing left. Please... please leave us the dad jokes.

Neither, apparently.

The other three people in my house saw a blue dress, I saw gold and they refused to believe I wasn’t trolling them until a friend who hadn’t yet heard of The Dress came over and also saw gold. It was a scary time for humanity.