Just consider it. Deadspin idiots try Barbershop (BarberChopped??) Quartet

I won’t be happy until this guy is behind uneven bars

I hate the patriots and cowboys completely and forever. By extension, I hate Sam Adams beer, Tony Romo as a commentator, Click and Clack, and both cities.  I view this as completely rational and will not seek the help my wife says I need. 

Re: kids pouring drinks: you should take submissions about how kids make their parents irrationally uncomfortable. Like when my son clearly has to pee but spends five agonizing minutes bouncing around on all fours, kicking like a wild horse being broken. Or how my daughter has to balance everything on her plate before…

then say goodbye to a recently deceased cameraman.

But you did erect a statue to a murderer, so...

I’m amazed shit like that doesn’t happen to him every game. Burfict should be nowhere near an NFL field.

Probably because the buffet place is giving you rendered hog anus instead of salmon.

McVay’s superpower is actually a real thing a lot of people have. I remember this one 60 Minutessegment that featured people who remembered everything in their lives down to the day and time.

This is a little wild, and hear me out, because it’s a little complex: porn stars are human beings and have the right to refuse sex the same as any other person in any other industry

me seeing the Magary Darnold similarity for the first time

As a Jets fan, I’m often asked what team I hate the most. Is it the Patriots? The Dolphins? The Giants?

I’m just glad he went with “someone from whom I bought cocaine” as opposed to the more colloquial “someone I bought cocaine from”.

This is...SnortsCenter

1. Turn schools into impregnable fortresses

I wonder if the kids feel the same way about Doug Ducey. That he’s being used by adults with an agenda (e.g. the Koch Brothers and the NRA).

How I was at 16 would probably be a whole lot different if someone had shot up my high school and killed a bunch of my friends. Don’t be dense.

Chris Berman can’t be racist. Some of his best friends are Tom Jackson.

“...and the US needs to go BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK to segregation”

And if any team has experience with that kind of thing...