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Reminds me of the last fight I got in. This guy at a bar was looking at me. So I said, “What the fuck you looking at asshole?” He looks at me and says, “Nothing.” I stood up. “Damn right, you better not be.” This guy had no business fucking with a guy like me, so I said, “ You have no business fucking with a guy like

This is neither the time or the place for this comment, but I need to get this out. Last night, I had a dream where I was simply dating Ryan Lochte. He wasn’t even being a douche, he even had brown hair instead of that dumb blue, but he looked like Ryan Lochte. Did I bone him? I did not. I kissed him like twice

She got tied up and held hostage at gunpoint in a place she felt safe. I’m not going to sit here and say that ain’t traumatic and a huge violation. And if you don’t want people to “make the comparison,” maybe don’t say victims of violent crimes are “asking for it” by “flaunt[ing their] things.”

A “sick” polar bear?! Does he mean a depressed one, maybe? A polar bear that’s starting to lose its fur? A polar bear with a head cold?

Correct. It’s not gratuitous. It seems tragic because it was. You could remove the entire description, but if you are going to explain what the video shows, that’s how it was. Girl, light, calling. These are the things that happen in the footage.

Interesting, that heightened the tragedy for me. Because it made it so vivid for me.

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Well since you brought it up......people are saying it’s true. I read it on the internet. People are saying it. I think it’s true. I heard he’s a big old bottom and that he has a pee fetish. Just sayin. 

I recently heard a rumor from a college classmate of Kushner’s that he had (or is still having—it was unclear) a lengthy affair with his male hairdresser. No clue if there’s a shred of truth to it—and since nothing good ever happens, I wouldn’t bet on it—but a boy can dream...

He seems more concerned about how better The Apprentice ratings were with him than with Arnold, without realizing most people can’t stomach watching the show anymore BECAUSE he was on it.

To me, he’s unnaturally smooth. Like a mannequin with serial killer eyes and a variety of wigs and face merkins.

I’ve never been able to quite place my finger on what it is, but there is something amiss with Bradley Cooper; something not quite right up in the head. He just never convinces me he is real person, you know?

Same.

That’s your opinion, not fact. You are allowed to not enjoy certain things. Some people enjoy going to festivals.

Ugh, why can’t people allow me to enjoy them/their things without being secretly awful.

I hope that he is now your ex husband?

I live to serve. Even the sportsmen.

That shade gave me life, and is my go-to example in trying to explain the nature of shade to the uninitiated.

The whole “Hollywood” Henderson comment also reminds the reader that it has been 30+ years since Bradshaw was a Relevant and Successful Football Man. It’s the football equivalent of “was a great model, I remember seeing her in my mom’s catalogs.”