I always look forward to this post despite wishing it wasn’t necessary.

May there come a day when you don’t need this image anymore, my friend.

That was my first thought, like who’s paying for that jump in premium?

This is what a lot of people do not understand. Friendly fire is so common that the military gave it a name. But sure, we should definitely get into shootouts in schools, what could possibly go wrong?

I think you are correct. I also think that the younger generations are ready to mobilize. At least I hope so. We fucked this up bad. They have their work cut out for them.

It’s like how a copy of something is always a little bit worse than the original.

DTJ is the spitting image of his father where he thinks everything he says and does is completely brilliant and hilarious, but he couldn’t be more fucking rock stupid if he was cloned out of a piece of shale.

Goddamn, that’s a blast from the past.

It’s the opposite. According to them Black Panther is the most racist movie ever.

and a string of fresh indictments from Robert Mueller’s sweeping Russia investigation.

But are the sheets waterproof?

A proper straight man is very important to comedy. I salute you.

Trump should have given the job to the other top contender, Dick Slapperson.

It’s like how we are told certain people around will keep Trump in check (like Ivanka, Kelly, etc), and you are irritated they don’t seem to be doing that, but then wonder....but what if they are and this is what he looks like “in check?”

Is he even really doing anything to stop Trump from doing anything? I genuinely ask that because I keep hearing about these supposed adults that can reign him in but haven’t seen anyone actually reign him in.

Part of a two pronged approach to diplomacy. We constantly talk about the size and heft of our collective National Phallus while having someone posted nude on the edge of the DMZ slapping his turgid member against the barrel of a howitzer.

I actually saw that on a Facebook story regarding BP’s box office success this morning, so your wait could be over.

Or the “I can’t be racist, I liked Black Panther”.

Firearm saftey courses should be a requirement for purchasing firearms. It shouldn’t be a fucking high school elective.