my daughter has that very shirt. we just got done dying it, because does do white.

I regret I have but one star to give.

“Having another kid! #somethingelsewithmynameonit #hopethisonedoesntcommitperjury #hopeshegrowsuphottoo”

I mean this makes perfect sense to me. The child is no longer unborn, so he no longer cares

I feel compelled to respond with this apocryphal quote:

YOU’RE HIRED!!

This was very well written and engaging. I could hear this being read on NPR by some deep voiced, folksy sounding announcer.

HOW IS BABBY MADE?!?!!?!?

“The healthy people are paying for the sick people.”

Aint no one got time for that, cops have to go pick up the underage prostitutes at 4pm to get their free BJs.

Stop flying them around and just get their stomachs pumped already.

You monster, I was a rewards member. With that information they’d know and be able to share everything worth knowing about me, like exactly how many times I rented Beverly Hills Ninja, just everything that makes me me.

“Yeah, they coulda shot her in the other hand, then face a lawsuit for disabling her for life.”

Ohio State’s football stadium holds over 100,000. Don’t know if you count attendance as a crowd, but I think there was a Michigan game where there were over 110,000 people. (Go Buckeyes!)

“I like people who didn’t lose a limb.”

When fascism runs out of necks to step on, it doesn’t just clap it’s hands together over a job well done. It shifts the line of who is a criminal and finds new necks.

You’ve got the “BOOTSTRAPS!” thing down.

It’s French for polish my nob.