Dear Texas,

He would have totally saved up his dented mushroom cans to put botulism in the holy water. Definitely.

From his future Twitter :

It was Rosie’s fault. Sad!

“Thoughts and Prayers.”

He will blame the victims and bystanders for not having more guns

I wonder if Alex Jones and his crowd will still say they are staged and used crisis actors under Trump.

Innocent gun forced to participate in shooting! Sad!

A tweet calling for more guns and fewer regulations on firearms in general, no doubt.

God. That’s going to be awful. I can’t think of many people who would be worse to hear from than Trump.

And will include “pray for them.” As if he believed it.

Do you think he’ll take time to try to console the nation? I’m having a hard time picturing it.

Based on his past comments I would expect something like “If I had been there with my gun it would have turned out differently, folks. Believe me... believe ME!”

He’ll just say, “Many people say we need more people with guns to stop the bad guys with guns.”

I like victims that weren’t shot. Sad!

In a tweet blaming Muslim terrorists, duh.

“Thoughts and Prayers. Also, doesn’t Ivanka have a great body?”

“Listen, what happened was terrible. This is why we have to shut down our borders, folks. Bad people are gettting in. Sometimes our people are driven to desperation. And look, this was bad, but I’ve seen far worse. This is not even close to what I’ve seen. I’m also going to continue to protect our gun rights, because…

Trump will pat him on a head and tell him: good jobs son.