Well, there should be. This is the benefit of surge pricing is that the people who are doing this crap for you deserve to be adequetly rewarded for the shit you are too lazy to do. I really never understood why people were so quick to call uber inhumane or whatever for using surge pricing (I understand the issues with…

The one time we ordered delivery during a storm, and not even one nearly as bad as this one coming, we tipped handsomely. If I don’t want to do it, I am going to pay someone else nicely to do it for me.

This is a little different, but I remember about 2 years ago, when terrible storm conditions hit DC, metro had stopped running, buses were shutting down early, and my bitch of an office manager was purposely taking her sweet ass time informing us whether or not we were going to follow OPM standards the next day (we…

I love that movie.

I fucking hate Romeo and Juliet. Also, wanted to add to sequel possibilities “Romeo and Juliet: Zombie Love.”

Dude, I can’t just stop being purple! It’s who I am. My dad was a red moon man and my mom was a blue moon woman. The Great Color Wheel of Life made me this way! Also, my dad was prime minister of the moon.

Come on, you really think one adult man came up with that? I can literally picture the stoned frat boys right now birthing those terms in a moment of genius.

The self-objectifation reason has to be the most dumb as fuck reason to not like her. I’m sorry, but I don’t know of a single comedia, male or female, who doesn’t put themselves down in their jokes. Jim Gaffigian, Louis CK, over half of their materials is “I’m fat, and lazy, and pass thee ice cream.” Chelsea Peretti,…

I like you.

I had a t-shirt with the same joke back in high school.

Whoa dude, whoa. #notallpurplemoonmen

I hope she was not also the one who accused Amy Schumer of not being feminist enough. Like, Amy Schumer stealing MY jokes, how unfeminist! It’s even worse than systemic serial rape!

Everything is ok as long as it’s a joke! Yes, officer, I did murder that family, but it was only for shits and giggles! Oh in that case, son, you are free to go. Sorry about the inconvenience.

I do that move all the time when I’m trying to finish my drink! Who do I have to pay royalties to?