Oh, you’re serious.

Yea I also take Utah way too seriously.

This piece is timely, heartfelt and completely true, until it self-destructs in spectacular fashion in the last paragraph. Then, BOOM! I’m still picking charred and twisted pieces of text out of my hair.

MLB SPRINT SPEED: BROUGHT TO YOU BY SPRINT. SPRINT: “ISN’T THAT THE ONE WITH THE VERIZON GUY? OR WAS THAT THE PINK ONE?” WITH SPEEDS UP TO 5G-LTEGBTQ ITS A HOME RUN FOR THE AMAZING NEW IPHONE SO LONG AS YOU ARE WITHIN 500 FEET OF A PRIMARY TOWER OTHERWISE YOU BASICALLY OWN AN IPOD TOUCH. SPRINT: “I’M BEHIND ON MY…

I have been preaching this in the Kinja comments for the past month, even before the Finals started. Yes, the Warriors are historically good right now. Yes, their core still has several years left in its prime.

I don’t understand how it’s assumed the Warriors will be the same. They only have Thompson and Green under contract for next year. Zaza, Curry, Durant, Andre I... are all free agents. I can’t imagine Curry doesn’t want big money, Durant will take less, but it’s not like league minimum.

“I am fully aware of the disgrace I brought to the game.”

It’s like how some people describe making love using a prison wallet and... well nevermind.

The Progressive Liberal believes in health care for all . . . when he’s through with them.

A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

According to every ride operator at Cedar Point, it’s the “Rockin’ Roller Coast”!

Think it could be because you’re 4 games under .500? And not the team with the best record in baseball?

The score was 34-31 and the 49ers had four plays inside the 10 to end the game. What in God’s name are you talking about?

Neither of those 2 characters were in Civil War.

That time he sent Brad Lidge to hell.

ESPN: Millennials want some youth and diversity to go with all of their hipping and hopping.

I HAVE THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME, EXCEPT THE TSA AGENT SAID I WOULDN’T FIT THROUGH THE NUDE SCANNER (OR ELSE THEY JUST DIDN’T WANT TO SEE WHAT I WAS PACKING) SO THEY BROUGHT ME OVER FOR A PAT DOWN. THEY SAID IT WAS OPTIONAL BUT I’M NOT A FUCKING TERRORIST AND I SAID IT WAS A PRIVILEGE TO TAKE PART IN THE SECURITY…

I think turning your body to face Chapman would be even more terrifying. You’re closer to the plate, and you’re sticking your fingers directly in the path of the fastball. Could you imagine getting your finger smashed between a bat and a Chapman fastball? (I realize that’s extremely poor bunting form, but I’m pretty…

You are aware there is more than one pitch thrown in a game, right?