D-did you say kittens? Because this is relevant to my interests and D'AWWWWWW SO CUTE!!!

Does anyone ever respond to change.org petitions, or are they just a way to feel like you've done something? And by the way, if you sign one of these, you start to get e-mails from them constantly asking you to sign more petitions.

I had Norton on another computer, and it was so irritating that I finally uninstalled it for something more sane.

Once upon a time, I started claiming to be "awesome". It wasn't actually serious at first, but eventually I began to notice that there truly were ways that I was awesome.

Bring me to my feet? More like bring me to tears talking about wanting to be loved.

So, hypothetically, when the demons are expelled, where do they go? Because if they go into the computer, I don't think anti-malware tools are good enough to fix a possessed operating system.

Arizona has always been putting the AZ in "crazy".

Since he's not famous, let's stop talking about ... who is Shia LaBeouf again? Have I ever heard that name before? Doesn't ring a bell. Not at all.

We're gonna be THAT record company that thinks that a stupid shock gimmick is a good way to sell records.

"brb goin to Africa lel" — David Livingstone

I hate it when these kind of entitled men go to Thailand acting like it's some kind of sexual paradise where the women exist to serve them. It gives Thailand a bad reputation, gives their home country a bad reputation, and takes advantage of desperate women.

The Daily Heil made up some sensational story about good churchgoers were unfairly subjected to criticism by the rich lady. Why am I not surprised?

Totally unrelated, but this reminds me of a true story that happened to me several years ago. I was going to get food at [unhealthy fast food restaurant that I shouldn't have been eating at] and this old man opened the door for me. I wasn't in a particularly good mood and just went in, but he began to scold me for not…

"The key is patience and persistence" — words to live by. 100,000 hairs sounds like a lot — because it is — but it's just a matter of taking it one strand at a time.

I wouldn't doubt it. The image they promoted was of the independent woman in control of her own life.

Raiding the fridge is *always* a good reason to visit your parents!

Getting women to start smoking was actually the beginning of modern marketing in the 1920s. Previously, it was typical that products were advertised based on their usefulness, until psychology started to take off — then advertisers started using people's insecurities to sell their products, and later, the idea of…

The worst part about falling down ramps is that you will accelerate uncontrollably if the friction is too weak, and then go sliding into your DOOM!!! Mwahahaha!

Broke the escalator? An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs.

Don't take the stairs; there's a pretty good chance you'll trip and tear a ligament in your ankle — which actually happened to me once — or suffer some other injury. Walking down stairs also puts intense pressure on your knees, which will wear out your cartilage faster. Lifts are a no no, too — I've heard stories ...…