True story: I was in London in 2010 and asked my hotel concierge how to get to Upton Park so I could buy some West Ham crap for my brother and he took a deep breath and refused to tell me how to get there because it was too dangerous. Instead he sent me to Lillywhites in Piccadilly Circus.

They call trucks "lories", elevators "lifts", fanny packs "bum bags" and when filming videos on their phones they hold it up vertically.