They watched “American Psycho” and thought it was a self-help movie.

“Pawn shop owner Kevin Haug told the AP, “Every once in a while, when someone’s weird, we look into them for no apparent reason other than we’re just bored sometimes.””

OMFG STOP WITH THE WITCH HUNT BULL SHIT! Seriously. There was an ACTUAL witch hunt that happened here. It’s part of American History. 14 WOMEN WERE EXECUTED!

“He said we shouldn’t worry about rising sea levels,”

Jeff Sessions is caught stonewallin’. That said, he’ll never be caught dead at Stonewall In’

A+ invocation of Prince John.

Shooting a giant gun into a serene natural setting while talking about the importance of protecting life may be the most Republican thing I’ve ever seen. Amazing.

Wow, that must be a bummer: you’re a Senator for over 20 years, you hitch your wagon to a guy you think is your best bud and whom you introduce to Washington D.C. when no one else will touch him with a 10-foot pole, you give up your seat in the Senate to become his Attorney General, and in — what? two or three months?…

This is deliciously petty and wonderful and I fully support it! Obama is *sort of* doing this already like when he went to Germany and talked about Democracy with Murkel, but having Clinton join in would just twist the knife further into Donnie’s flabby back and I’m all for it.

Can you imagine FDR tweeting “Pathetic excuse by PM Winston Churchill who had to think fast on his “Keep Calm & Carry On” remark. Sad!”

“Only attacks dogs who...?” How many dogs has her vigilante dog attacked? Did he have a little cape?

So a few months ago one of my dogs was attacked and seriously hurt by another dog at the dog park. The owner ran away when she saw that my dog was injured, and when I saw her again, she refused to give me her name because she said her dog only attacks dogs who deserve it, so it was clearly my dog’s fault.

Why not both?

Truth. I mean just run down the subject lines in his wiki page...

I think you meant “What a despicable piece of shit.”

Which one? They’re all fucking terrible.

What a despicable piece of shit with that tweet.

Mhmm. I like it here on Jez *because* it’s a progressive bubble. Most internet platforms scare the fuck outta me.