This proves Cardinals Nation wins at everything, even murders per capita!!!

Probably the FIBs—look at their QB.

I do it because luggage disperses my farts.

Agreeing on a plunger in every bathroom, clearly this is why you took the plunge!

I love football, but watching Roger Goodell sink the ship may ultimately be more entertaining than having the NFL around.

by waking up.

But he’s still a Dick.

Here’s the clickbait version: You will not believe what happened to the LAPD Detective Investigating the Derrick Rose Rape, click here to find out!!!!

Glitches? You mean you guys don’t see people float across rooms on their knees and have their heads disappear into doors like I do?

Harbaugh is always milking it for the camera.

Gilberg v. Bork Laser

Worst Gase scenario

Ben MacAdoo’s hair-stache combo makes him look like a guy who trolls garage sales for used stereo equipment, rather than coach an NFL team worth an estimated 2.1 billion.

What do mermaids eat?

Exactly, appealing to the racist, xenophobic populists is fine to get the votes, until your presidential candidate is actually a racist xenophobe.

That’s because when Bill Simmons is around, sports/pop media bloggers go to Dunkin’ Donuts to get JELLLLLLYYYYY

The Ringer is trying to serve too many masters: be insightful, yet be really short/internet digestible because everyone has ADD. This doesn’t work.

Wait, it isn’t cord-cutting millennials’ fault?

“I’m going to show the world how disappointed I am in my performance right now” rips off chinstrap. It’s a funny bit of acting that football players do—it’s weird that became the de facto “I’m frustrated” gesture.

I love how Mike McCarthy was off the list before the Packers bye week last week, but somehow got back on the list. I guess the Packers lost their bye week?