She also asserted that her tax dollars somehow go towards Thorpe and Tyson’s salaries. That’s definitely not how taxes work, but believing so is definitely how being a wretched white person in America works.

To me, it bothers me that Penny Arcade is even here at all.

Still rubbing me the wrong way with the usually excellent Awkward Zombie first and the usually disappointing Penny Arcade last.

I feel every post regarding Daigo needs Evo moment 37.

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.

First off, why the fuck is a 12 year old streaming.

The head of Russia’s curling federation suggested Krushelnitckii had food or drink spiked with the drug, possibly by Russia’s political enemies.

I’m waiting for the 18 part Deadspin series on how Boston is racist because of taunts by Black Hawk fans.

Idiotic statement. Why wouldn’t NBC be talking up American Athletes? NATIONAL BROADCAST COMPANY ... N-A-T-I-O-N-A-L .

As the resident Jalopnik Bond fan, I’d just like to clarify that Daniel Craig has recently confirmed he is returning for his fifth outing as James Bond in 2019, and he said he made that comment two days after finishing Spectre and was exhausted, and that it was stupid. Plus he’s probably making a shit ton of money.

One of the great things about the Olympics is I read a headline like that and my first thought is “the dude’s first name is Gahhh, that is frickin’ awesome”, but turns out it’s just a run-of-the-mill Kristian with his face cut open.

The NHL trying to claim that sending players to the Olympics had no discernible impact on the sport is ludicrous.

Yeah but men dont have the luxury of showing a bare modicum of skin and being showered with donations and subs, they have to actually be entertaining or good at the games they play. It goes both ways.

“Nah, man, I am a comedian.”

“My name is KIIIIIICKKKKKKKK, KICK ROCKKKKSSS. I love that song too.”

Here is a thing I love

Facts: Touch and Dare by Stan Bush for this movie may be the two greatest songs made for any film in history. Fight me over this. I will end your world like Unicron.

I won’t claim to speak knowledgably about the other 30 clubs, but Jaromir Jagr would be a top-six forward on the Buffalo Sabres.

i had a girlfriend who gave me that exact same look when she got stuck in my radiator grill.

The jail should require the prisoner to read long passages of GRMM’s food descriptions or write the next chapter of the eventual book.

The jail should require the prisoner to read long passages of GRMM’s food descriptions or write the next chapter of…