“Now, SLIM is still alive and beaming vital data back to Earth”

When my spawn hatched I offered to procure bubble wrap and Bungie cords to strap him to the sissy bar.

PASS. Not even close to what I ordered.

The ubiquitous excuse has gone from “dog ate my homework” to “dog completely incinerated my homework, along with my parents’ house, garage, car, and neighbor’s tree.”

WTF happens if it rains while it’s parked outside?!?

What CT owners think they look like: GIF of war veteran being saluted at while they walk into an Applebee’s.

You can’t charge it after midnight either.

You can’t get it wet? I’m sure this has been said before but is it a gremlin?

You would need a Deathwish to drive one of these in Texas. this is not even a speedbump to a F350 King Ranch

Remember when trolls just stuck to the internet? If this guy did this in my neighborhood I’d put weird lotion on his door handles.

SR-71 pilot coming in to brag how they spent 100 minutes in totality in *crackooom* ... nevermind, they overshot the comments section.

AI Trains. Been there, done that.

Attaboy, Stampy!

So you’re telling me they made a YouTube channel to profit off the misfortune of others, instead of asking their local city or county to install a guard rail, adjust the speed limit, and add warning signs leading up to the curve?

My family.

So, a lot of cursing, crying, pleading to saints, threats, breaking of dishes and possibly gunshots?

“We’re not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean.”

Q. What director would make a film about a gang of Toronto-based home-and-car thieves?