I just walked around with straight arms for two minutes and wanted to kill myself.

what’s it like being a piece of shit?

Man, I want that Jalopnik/wagon wheel tee so bad. I’ve got a lot of regret about not purchasing it.

Sorry Barry, now Jalopnik is way cooler than Deadspin. Them’s the breaks.

This is the type of stuff that really elevates Ashley’s status as one of the Premier Deadspin Writers. Second only to Albert in my books.

Man did you leave Embiid off this very small list on purpose?

what the hell are you talking about

Ashley I just want you to know that you are my second favourite GMG writer behind Albert. Feel better ok?

WHO’S KITCHEN WERE THOSE TWO MAKING CHILI IN

you did it

WHOS KITCHEN WAS THAT

It would be fitting and hilarious if they had Jalopnik provide chauffeur services for these two for this series.

Is it possible that the pictured lamb is in fact a sheep?????

Fuck you Ashley, we’re just trying to be nice.

I’m fairly certain that all of these comments were made by people who should have just skipped right over this article.

Aren’t a bunch of you guys lawyers?

You’re vegetarian, correct? No hate! My wife and kids are too.

My mom thinks Malcolm Gladwell is great. I think he stinks. Who’s right here?

Do you guys play McDonald’s Monopoly?

Man, you guys are gonna be so much more famouser now.