You learn a lot about yourself after dating what appeared to be a vivacious sexpot you met at a fun party, but who in reality was an unhinged loon with serious alcohol/drug problems.

a few years ago I mocked up what I thought would be the perfect Tebow logo and on-field cleat.

But the drawback is that this is normalizing/excusing the “moderate” GOP’s brand of racism. The smart thing to do would be to paint the entire party as the party of Trump—you made this, this is who you are, this is who you’ve always been—and wield it as a cudgel going forward.

R.I.P., Samer’s dick.

Marriotts Of Fire

You could have at LEAST used Georgetown...

Did I recreate that scene fifty times when I was a teenager? You know I did.

And that’s what separates pro athletes from the rest of us, that willingness to devote unthinkable chunks of their lives to honing skills that may actually only pay off a handful of times each year.

International expansion definitely makes the most sense to me. Nashville would probably be the best option among those cities. It’s booming, it’s good baseball country (in Barves Country, but not totally beholden to it), and sadly, with a government of crony capitalism-afflicted Democrats who bend over backwards to…

Murderers row? It’s not like they hired Craig James.

Fun fact: JJ Watt is actually just three Rudy Ruettiger clones standing on each other’s shoulders.

He throws his hands up. Don’t you get it?

Coaches should be stored in clear, glass tubes filled with mysterious light blue liquid. They should be completely nude except for a breathing mask for breathing and a voice amplifier for shouting. The coach tube tanks could be wheeled around by teens, tots, toddlers, and other child-like creatures belonging to team…

Sorry, I’ve been stuck on step 2 for 20 years.

trading Chandler? Could they be any more cold-blooded?

“Shit! I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail!”

My take is Warriors games should start even later and be blacked out in Drew’s house.

I wonder what the streak is for number of Funbags in a row where this shirt featured in the comments?

Due to his ability to distract Oregon State shooters, Michael Phelps has been recruited by the FBI to Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

The one thing I go back to with baseball contracts is that they’re only bad if they affect future decisions. The Dodgers have a bunch of “bad” contracts but it doesn’t prevent them from going after FAs (or trades) they want.