God I loved Creepshow as a kid.

Also, if he’s trying to downplay how young she was, it might be a good idea to find a photo where she’s not wearing a shirt that says “milk-fed.”

The Phantom Menace was on TV last night. Natalie Portman looked about 18, while Jake Lloyd looked about 6. And yet their characters eventually hook up and have children. Take that, Moby haters! Double standard! /s

jesus god, some people just don’t know when to shut the fuck up.

I don’t know why he keeps acting like his telling of MUST BE correct when he didn’t even get right a probable piece of info: her age in that year, and seems to continue to add 2 years to her age when how old she is is, again, a provable fact.

What? Skinny-doughy is the ultimate aphrodisiac. That’s what my wife says before going back to staring longingly at that poster of Jason Momoa she taped to the ceiling above our bed.

Yeah Moby, if that was the best picture I had from dating Natalie Portman, I wouldn’t be surprised if she regretted it too.

Given Brawl in Cell Block 99's languorous pacing issues—we don’t hear the words “Cell Block 99" until an hour into the movie—this will be 2 hours and 20 minutes of small talk and then 20 minutes of skulls caving in.

For $4,000, I’ll send you a Blu-Ray disc from which I’ve meticulously digitally removed The Departed.

Say what you will about how it looks, but I greatly prefer this kind of Internet to the one we have now. More personal, less crowded, less hostile, no “monolith” sites sucking up all the ad revenue and making it more difficult to establish competition.

I can’t believe people used to pay me good money to design websites like that.

Yeah, reading this review, it felt like this was one of the few times when I actually thought that should I be offended by this as a man. It is always a weird hesitation.

hur hur all men think about is sex hur hur

that sort of shit’s not offensive and cliched, or anything 

I wonder if some movies are made purely with the intent to be watched in the economy section of a United flight.

Here’s how I feel about this season so far, although nobody asked.

Sometimes you fall in love with a new band. Their sound is different, exciting, compelling. They become one of your favorites by virtue of sheer audacity and envelope-pushing. That’s the first season of TD for me. And down the line, your relationship…

I am also curious to see what the future holds for Lagertha as well as Judith (if anything other than the afterlife). How do we interpret Olaf’s change of heart? Was he simply testing Hvitserk’s resolve to make sure it wasn’t just a case of sibling rivalry and envy and determined that Ivar must be a true tyrant since H…

I really enjoyed its look at a Southern California not normally seen on screen. The real-life places that Vinci is based on are fascinating and deserve more uncomfortable light being shone on them.

Dudespeak is basically Warburton’s shtick. I hope this was just a one episode cameo because I found his character annoying from the moment he walked on. “Oh. Its Patrick Warburton doing Patrick Warburton in prosthetics.

So has anyone explained WHY Halston Sage is leaving the show? I haven’t seen anything about the rationale behind this change.