Of all the things to to worry about, the mental health of this egocentric wanker is not one of them...

Imagining more an undirected rage fest. Who are these people in my space! I am god! This is Heaven! Peter didn’t open the pearly gates for you—-!

Go apeshit? On Andre 3000?

Post-wine texted this to the ex-husband who keeps contacting me

Remember when Jezebel was anti body-snarking? Anyone? Anyone?

Aaawwww.

On the cab ride, that guy THOUGHT he was getting a 3-way for xmas.

look at you taking an opportunity to tell people online how big your penis is! Adorable!

I can't believe I just admitted to watch this crap...

I didn’t expect him to be THRILLED but his reaction was way over the top, right?!

This is the best that his stylist could do? If anyone needs the gays, it's Paul.

His suit says “I’m all business,” but his hair says “Nah, brah. Let’s fuck shit up.”

One of my happiest holiday party memories is when a gang of us went to a trendy NYC restaurant for New Year's Eve and I STARTED a conga line and the wait staff joined in! I was not entirely sober (and I doubt the wait staff was either) but I guess I was sober enough to remember this.

Aw, I would totally talk to her. About normal shit too, like my dogs. Or how much winter sucks.

"It is not the Greatest Most Epic Thing Ever"

I think it's okay to have a preference for dicks that are not small and further I don't really give a rat's what your penis thinks about small boobs or the fact that this was posted on Jez and there is no counterpart about gaping vaginas. Women are told by everyone and their mother both directly and indirectly that…