Sometimes, when I’m driving to work, I think that I’d rather have a disabling accident than live through another week of bullshit. Not the same thing? Okay, I have nothing to offer here. Bless it, as we say here.

Generally a bad idea to link to something without a description. Liveleak especially. I don’t feel like watching a beheading so I shan’t click it.

Between diving with sharks and chasing tornadoes I think some white people have a predisposition for doing crazy shit. If that had been me, I would have ran fast and given the bear the paddles for the kayak as it is his/hers now.

Is it bad that I think the “am I a slut?” fight is kind of the friend’s fault? It’s not really fair to ask someone a question as if you want to hear their opinion when you’re actually just fishing for reassurance. If the only answers to something are yes, no, or maybe and you don’t want to hear no or maybe, perhaps…

I don’t understand people who flirt at gyms. I’m pretty sure my face is set in constant ‘fuck off’ mode the entire time I’m there.

If we’re both single when we’re 40 hoodie

‘First Date At The Movies Where You Want To Hold Hands So You Put Your Palm Up Awkwardly On The Armrest And Touch Pinkies’ athletic socks.

The “is this happening or not” underwear

“I love you but not in ‘that’ way” sports bras

Can’t wait for the ‘Comfortably Distant Side Hug’ pants and the ‘Handshake-no-wait-hug-oh-god-handshake-now-it’s-too-late-let’s-just-lean-towards-each-other-and-shoulder-hug’ Pants.

Yeah. I get that. I mean, how could I not get that? But I’m still all about Will/Finn. Like, I can’t look at either of them without thinking about their bathing suit parts.

This answer is the best answer because it’s the only one that side-steps making comments about other cultures and instead makes fun of lawyers.

Sure but in this hypothetical he still has three apples.

It’s hilarious to me that so many people are convinced he did it, despite the fact that all the evidence against him has been completely obliterated.

I think you are predicting the Donald’s next offering.

Imagine a white male saying, ‘but my employees are all black men’ after saying a racial epithet.

“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained 15 pounds...”