This is extra hilarious in the context of a celebrity kid considering it would probably take 10 middle class kids to make up the carbon footprint of North.

YOU KNOW I GET PAID FOR THIS RIGHT?

My grandma’s second husband beat her once, and put her in the hospital. The asshole came to visit her at the same time my Daddy was headed to check on his Mother-in-law. He made the mistake of joining my dad in the elevator. Dad apparently stopped the elevator and explained that he was raised to respect his elders and…

I read some stories about the Quiverfull movement way before any of this, and I remember them specifically talking about how a woman is always (no exceptions) supposed to follow her male leader (husband/father). That their movement considers it more sinful to disobey a husband/father than the actual sin itself. For…

I’m with you... this is such a complicated situation. Anna, come stay with me! I’ll help with the kids! I won’t even be judgey about your religion! We’ll eat ice cream and laugh and when we’re ready, we’ll talk about what to do. And there won’t be any media or Facebook. Call me!

Even if she could bring herself to disobey her cheating husband, she’s a young woman with several small children and a homeschool diploma, with likely no work experience outside the home. She’s not in the best position to leave and thus lose her support system.

Oh, this may very well be the best she has available. I still like to imagine an aunt or something who quietly mentions that she’d love Anna no matter what choices she makes now and then.

I’m Austrian and Dutch, in Australia, and my reactions would be pretty much the same.

I Googled the brother and found a story from a few years ago that mentioned him. He and his wife adopted and apparently adoption is a no-no according to their crazy religion because the child “carries the sins of the parents.” What the actual fuck? Team Anna’s Brother indeed!

My dad went after his BIL after he beat up my aunt. The way dad tells it, my former uncle had moved in with a few buddies and was on the phone inside (back the phones were connected to the wall) and wouldn’t come outside to “talk” to my dad. My dad tore into the kitchen and hit him and his head ricocheted off the wall…

I’m still a bit confused as to who made this.....Michael Kors?

he sounds like Yoko to me

The problem is that it gets too confusing if you only use first names. This is exactly how Andy Richter ended up getting called “Fat Andy” on Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

Also, maybe I’m just an asshole, but you (the theoretical you) are the one choosing to get married... Why should I buy you a toaster? I haven’t even bought myself a toaster yet because I have no money!

Oh, that’s funny. Good luck with your sense of superiority founded on massive insecurities.

Who said anything about looking down on Americans? You seem to be feeling very insecure.

It’s still a party for the purpose of making sure someone gets presents. As for your second paragraph - Europe is made up of about 50 countries, and is about 350,000 km2 larger than the USA, and is far more diverse.

Isn’t “grasping and tacky” just a British synonym for “American”?

I never get gifts back because I am single and childless. I’ve spent my life buying wedding and baby gifts without ever getting any myself, and I’m over it.

Honestly, I think showers are tacky too. Shower gift AND a wedding gift? GTFO. Also, brides (and mothers-to-be at baby showers) open the gifts in front of everyone and I think it’s SUPER tacky and boring as hell.